Stinky: The Best Looking Man on the Planet

The Companion to Stinky Stories

Month: September 2014

Why did the end come before the middle?

“Stinky’s September Song”is the last Stinky Story chronologically, but more than half of the stories are yet to be published.  What gives?

Like those old jigsaw puzzles with missing pieces, even when all of the Stinky Stories are published they won’t include every scene from Stinky’s long life.  This story is like the picture on the jigsaw puzzle box that helps you figure out what it would look like if it were all there.

In order for every one of the Stinky Stories to have a place in the picture on the box cover I needed to know the ending.  Did they ever move?  Did they retire?  Did they live happily ever after?  If the author doesn’t know how the story ends, he’ll never get to it and this story sets the boundaries.  I know how you feel about the end of Lost because I feel the same way.  Stinky Stories know where they’re going and deliver on the promise of a happy ending every time.

Volume 3 of the collected Stinky Stories begins with three short and trashy tales from Stinky’s libertine youth.  We hear rumors about his past from time to time, and these shed light on how these rumors got started.  “Stinky’s September Song” is the best story to end Volume 3 since the volume covers the longest span of time of any of the eight volumes.  In Volume 3 we first meet Gradey as a sonogram and by the end he’s an expectant grandfather.  There are some outrageous characters in Volume 3, but as with everything in Stinky’s life it all comes back to his family.

The story ends on a hopeful note, but it’s not a funny farce like many of the others.  It’s the last story, but I didn’t want the series to end with it.

All of the Stinky volumes are chronological, but not sequential.  He will never be as young as he is in the first three stories of Volume 3 (which will not be separately published) and he will never be as old as he is in “Stinky’s September Song” in any of the other volumes.  Eddie will not be dead in any other story.  He returns as a lad in his early thirties in Volume 4.  The volume begins with Eddie facing an evil witch who has lured Stinky and Angie into her gingerbread house.  Stinky’s dreaming, but like most dreamers he doesn’t know that.  We all know that, awake or asleep, Eddie is the man of Stinky’s dreams.

Don’t be sad for Eddie.  He had a perfect life and died with a full stomach.

You can feel sorry for the witch.  Poor thing goes vegan after less than a day with the Carter brats.


What the heck is a “pre-order”? Ya either order it or ya don’t!

Amazon recently added a new feature for Kindle authors.  Kindle Direct Publishing titles (KDP) are now eligible for pre-order, just like physical books.

It took a while for the Stinky Stories to work their way through the pipeline, but from now on upcoming stories will be available for pre-order a few weeks before publication.  Order now and it will magically pop into your Kindle or other reader on the publication date.

It might be a little confusing, because a pre-order title looks the same as a published one.  The clue is that the “order with one click” button says “pre-order with one click.”  Also, you can’t peek inside until it’s published.

The four Stinky titles currently in pre-order mode include the last two in Volume 3 and the first two in Volume 4.  Volume 3 ends on a bit of a downer — it’s the last Stinky Story chronologically.  Stinky is seventy-six in that story, but is a young man of twenty-nine as Vol. 4 begins.  Each of the volumes is chronological, but the volumes are not sequential.  It mixes things up better that way.  If you’re a little stunned as Volume 3 ends, you can see things bounce right back as Volume 4 takes Stinky into a fairy tale odder than anything the Brothers Grimm ever collected.

Amazon also introduced “kindleunlimited” recently.  This interesting program allows readers to download unlimited KDP titles for a subscription price of $9.99 a month.  With over six hundred thousand titles available, it’s a banquet for avid readers, and authors even get a royalty as soon as the reader pages through ten percent of the book.

However you get to Stinky, thank you for your support around the world.  We need more happy endings and he finds a way to one every week.