The Best Looking Man on the Planet: A Bouquet of Stinky Stories, Vol. 1, An Amazon Bestseller
Stinky is truly global. Within a month of his first appearance, readers on four continents were enjoying his stories. All of the stories mentioned on this page appear in the first volume, plus a bonus story, “Stinky’s Stolen Heart,” that is not otherwise available. How stories get assigned to a specific volume is mystical. Please don’t try to figure it out. Within the volume the stories are chronological from the characters’ point of view. Volume 1 is an Amazon Kindle bestselling collection of Amazon bestsellers. Nine stories, nine happy endings. Where else can one get a happy ending for about the price of a stamp?
The Best Looking Man on the Planet, Volume 1 and every story in it are Amazon bestsellers!
“Stinky and the Allegorical Breasts”
An over the counter headache remedy lasts longer than one of Stinky’s affairs, so when the best looking man on the planet finally falls in love, he expects his family to celebrate.
They do open a bottle of so-so wine, but before they can fully embrace Stinky’s good fortune, he and Eddie must uncover the mystery of a nude painting of Stinky’s sister. Stinky’s mother doesn’t want the artwork included in a museum-sponsored exhibition, but his sister is convinced that exposure will further the promising artist’s career. All that Stinky and Eddie have to do is find the silly thing and restore family harmony.
“Stinky and the Cold Toilet Confession”
Crafty Stinky finds a place to live that’s posh enough for someone from the high rent district and affordable for someone who grew up far from the garden club tour route. Before the paint’s dry Eddie volunteers to play Santa for all two hundred residents and leads the annual toy drive to its best year ever. When Stinky discovers that the toys have been stolen, Eddie is crushed and it’s tough to make a heartless person find it in his heart to confess. Throw in tropical fantasies, a spectacular Mount of Venus and a nasty way to get rid of leftover potato salad and you have one of the boys’ most memorable capers.
“Stinky’s Cash Floes”
Stinky is proud of the clever way he managed the transition from cramped apartment dweller to spacious condo owner so he launches his own boutique law and wealth management firm. His courage falters when a summer client drought turns his cash flow into a trickle. Eddie sends him on the lecture circuit to drum up business, not knowing Stinky is the world’s worst public speaker. When Stinky advises a redoubtable matron to leave her deadbeat husband a two dollar bet on a pony, Eddie is afraid his mom’s lodge will cancel her membership. Stinky counsels forbearance and reconciliation, but if you’ve already passed that stage, get the book for some awesome tips about how to disinherit an unloved one.
“Stinky’s Best Worst Birthday,” is a short, short story that tells of the most lovingly prepared and worst tasting meal of Stinky’s life. How can an intelligent man read and follow a recipe to a T and still get an F? When Eddie puts the meal on the table, be sure to have a Glade PlugIn handy if your Kindle is equipped with the new “Spell and Smell” feature.
Cover art by Waylon Bacon; design by vikncharlie
It’s Stinky at the Beach
Eddie is cool and brave when he faces dangerous murderers, but a weekend at a sprawling cottage crammed with Stinky’s relatives sounds like more than he can handle. Stinky’s mother’s family has been going to the same faded place since just after the Volstead Act was repealed (Stinky suggests they bought it with their bootlegging profits) and Eddie is convinced he won’t fit in, especially when Protestant sports like tennis and miniature golf are on the program. To add to Eddie’s perplexity, he’s the first “guest” Stinky ever brought and the ancient bedsprings are said to creak. That’s a lot to sort out in less than thirty-six hours, but read on to find out how it goes. Go to the “Contact Us” page and ask for Uncle Biff’s signature cocktail recipe, a refreshing, but lethal, summer cooler. You must be twenty-one to ask for the recipe. In fact, you must be eighteen to even ask for the name of the cocktail.
Stinky’s granny is coming to town after an extended European tour with another questionable beau in tow. The last one put the moves on Stinky and the previous one helped himself to everything that was small and looked valuable. Stinky’s fears abduction if the current one combines the talents of the previous two.
Granny’s latest beau is age appropriate, but who is he, really? How does Stinky deal with Granny’ astonishing secret? Why is Eddie the only good-looking man on earth Granny doesn’t like? Oh no, Eddie has a secret. Did Granny push the boys out of the plane or did they jump? Shocked? Much more drama and premarital sex than a typical Stinky Story, so you better be shocked.
Eddie the Reluctant Celebrity
Eddie gets his first starring role! He combines his considerable experience as a policeman and Santa and becomes an overnight sensation for the thoughtful way he helps children in the hospital. It starts getting out of hand as his fame grows, and even Stinky can’t think of a way to free Eddie from his screaming fans without letting the kids down. There’s humor and lots of heart — this is the only Stinky Story that might require a Kleenex before the inevitable happy ending.
Stinky News at Eleven
Peyton Mayer is a TV reporter with looks, ambition, and personality. If he could only get to the end of a sentence without a flub he’d be a network instead of a local reporter. When Peyton moves into the Hudson he attaches himself to Eddie, figuring that Eddie will lead him to a career-making story. As Stinky trolls YouTube for videos of Peyton’s on-air gaffes, Eddie tries to keep him out of harm’s way. Peyton fortifies himself with a Virgin Scorpion Bowl and then orders a double portion of trouble at a classic Chinese restaurant –- you don’t have to crack open a fortune cookie to know he’s way over his head. Lucky for him, Eddie is taller.