Thank you, merci, gracias, grazi and obrigado to our visitors from five continents!
We’ve had visitors from Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Columbia and Ecuador in South America; Morocco, Angola, Ghana and Nigeria in Africa; France, Italy, Denmark, Greece, Poland and Georgia in Europe and Korea, Singapore and Japan in Asia, Mexico and USA in North America plus Australia — six continents!
Stinky Stories also trotted around the globe with downloads in Canada, Brazil, UK, Denmark, France, Spain, Italy, Japan and India — four continents in two months — and over one thousand downloads in the first three months. That’s a lot of Stinky!
There are over fifty stories in the pipeline, so please come back soon to see what new trouble has found the boys. Unless you’re would-be hackers. If so, please leave us alone. The boys have enough problems.
Leave it to Stinky to be selected to represent an order of couture nuns, the Sisters of Disparity, when they need zoning approval to build a splashy Renzo Piano designed convent and spa. A few years later, Stinky’s father fears that his wife is planning to take the veil to avail herself of the employee discount. He enlists Stinky’s help and, we can pretty much guess that won’t turn out well. Stinky does excel when he shows his nephew how to load sand into his swim trunks so he looks like he’s pooping when he stands up, so give him some credit as a role model.
A lot of hemming, no hawing at the convent.
On May 8 “Stinky and the Allegorical Breasts” hit #1 in satire and #13 in general humor. Google reveals many allegories and many breasts, but this is apparently the first time anyone put them together. Way to go, Stinky!
Stinky and the Allegorical Breasts
“Stinky’s Cash Floes” is available on Amazon. A summer client drought turns Stinky’s cash flow into a trickle. Eddie and his mother invest their life savings in Carter Associates, but Eddie puts Stinky through marketing boot camp. Eddie’s plan is to put Stinky on the lecture circuit to drum up business. Eddie soon learns that Stinky is the world’s worst public speaker, but that doesn’t slow him down. With Stinky at the podium, even a tax lecture is hilarious.
Special bonus: “Stinky’s Best Worst Birthday” is a short, short story that tells of Eddie’s attempt to make a birthday dinner for Stinky. Eddie approaches the oven with the same confidence Lucy felt facing a vat of grapes and with even less success.
Two happy endings for the price of one. Try finding that in your daily newspaper. In fact, try finding a daily newspaper for $0.99
Stinky’s Cash Floes Cover
While there was a kerfuffle at the Bluemer household when Chris, Lynne and the dogs all wanted to read about Stinky at the same time, the important take away lesson is that even when the dogs read a book on your Kindle, it doesn’t get dog eared.
Buy a dog, Stinky!
Stinky and the Allegorical Breasts
Cover art for “Stinky and the Allegorical Breasts”
Original art: Waylon Bacon
Aren’t you curious why this became an instant Amazon Bestseller in three categories? Now available on Amazon Kindle or a free Kindle app.
To find out more about “Stinky and the Allegorical Breasts:”
For other Stinky stories visit my author page:
What’s on Stinky’s mind?
Stinky has a lot on his mind these days. “Stinky and the Allegorical Breasts” is live. He was rather “Stinkier” in the days of that adventure and he’s a little embarrassed at the way he acted, but hopes his readers will bear with him and see how nicely he matured as they get to know him better. (Author’s note: Hah!)
“Stinky and the Cold Toilet Confession” will follow in a week or so.
In the present day, Stinky and Eddie have been invited to join an elite club of legendary pals, the Buddies Always Near and Never Apart Society (B.A.N.A.N.A.S.). They are shocked to learn that about a year after Frodo and Sam tossed the ring into the alleged “Crack of Doom” it came back to Frodo postage due. After all that trouble, it was the wrong Crack of Doom. Tolkien didn’t have the heart to mention this knowing how heavily the burden weighs on Frodo. Sam gives our boys the updated Crack of Doom info and sends them on their most disgusting adventure: rid the world of this evil piece of jewelry. No wonder they prefer cufflinks.