Still Stinky After All These Years, Vol. 3, an Amazon Bestseller
Volume 3 covers a period of over fifty years, the longest of any of the Stinky Volumes. It begins with some short bonus tales from his saucy youth and ends with a much older Stinky looking back on his life and deciding to start living it anew. We follow his nephew’s career from sonogram to expectant grandfatherm and along the way Stinky and Eddie tackle some characters we’d rather see than be.
It’s not all work and no play for our boys. They get invited to a wedding reception with wildly inappropriate cocktails and some colorful guests. One of the livelier gals relieves Eddie of his pants and gets him to dance to “Brick House.” Don’t believe it? Stinky has photos.
Fourteen tales in all and that means every download adds fourteen happy endings to a world that needs more of them. Do your part. Get your copy today. The collection is an Amazon bestseller and so are all of the individually published stories in it. If you think of the Stinky Stories as books on a shelf, this collection touches the bookends on both sides.
“Stinky and the Absent Minded Flibbertigibbet”
When a visiting organist arrives at Stinky’s quiet parish with a hundred law enforcement vehicles in pursuit, the day is pretty much ruined for the staff. By the time for their usual afternoon tea rolls around nobody is speaking to anyone else and the rector asks Stinky to join them for dinner. The meal includes an accidental poisoning and an awkward proposition, and it’s still two days until the fatal concert. Wait a minute –- did he say he brought the wrong music? What’s that about his pants and shoes? Naked Pentecostals? Read on.
“Babies ‘R Stinky”
After breaking up with her latest boyfriend, Stinky’s sister finds herself pregnant and panicked. The panic becomes general when she threatens to direct the stork to Stinky and Eddie’s condo.
The boys eventually get their minds around the idea of being “in the family way,” but aren’t sure if they’ll end up as uncles or fathers. Volatile Angie might put the baby up for adoption…or worse. It’s the closest that Stinky and Eddie ever come to a knockdown, drag out brawl. Could this be the only Stinky Story without a happy ending? Read “Babies ‘R Stinky” to find out.
Bonus story: “A Stinky Baby Boom”
“A Stinky Baby Boom” starts quietly. Stinky and Eddie are great pals with Cousin Kevin and his lovely wife Carol, but when they spend a week at the family cottage, nobody seems to be getting along. Carol is moody, Kevin disappears and it’s up to Stinky to salvage the remaining days of their vacation.
“Tie the Knot, Secure the Handcuffs and Fasten the Chains: It’s a Stinky Prenup”
For this trip down the aisle oft married and oft widowed Prissy Poulet is more interested in the groom’s ass than his assets. Stinky has to wade through a confusing collection of documents to fashion a prenuptial agreement for the “People’s Princess” of the arts, but he gets to go to the year’s most anticipated wedding and reception. Prissy is French by prior marriage and if Cher could “Turn Back Time” and perform one of her popular “final” concerts in the legendary Moulin Rouge, it might be something like the reception. Don’t believe me? Stinky has photos.
Reader discretion warning: The “house cocktails” at the event are more like “house of ill repute cocktails.” The beverages described are real, but their names are very, very nasty. One of the wedding guests has a colorful past, colorful hair and a colorful tongue. She uses a lot of blue language. On the plus side she’s kind to Eddie and affectionate. Voulez-vous continuer à lire avec moi, ce soir?
“It’s Stinky at the Zoo”
“It’s Stinky at the Zoo” is a short tale that begins when Stinky’s sister leaves her son with his uncles while she spends a weekend in Vermont trying to get engaged. They enjoy his visits, but can’t figure out why the usually delightful child is acting up.
Gradey isn’t the first child to figure out that zoo lions are boring, but when he helps a lost girl find her mother, Stinky finds the key to unlock the child’s troubled heart.
Bonus story, “A Real Stinky Bridesmaid” finds sweet Gradey back to being a Grade A pain when his mother decides to get married. The uncles are always on call when Gradey needs help, but this time even Detective Morrissey can’t figure out what’s the matter. Eventually Uncle Stinky clears the air with the aid of a tasteless secret handshake that involves a faux fart. Stinky often saves the day, but you’ll have to read on to learn why he insists on wearing a hideous, raspberry bow tie.
“A Stinky Neighbor”
Stinky and Eddie are both pleased when Eddie’s mother finally decides to move out of her faded house and shaky neighborhood, but aren’t thrilled when she buys a condo in their building. Thelma all but moves in with the boys until clever Stinky finds a way to get her to move on.
“A Stinky Cold”
Never ailing Stinky awakens with a fever and doesn’t know which end is up -– when taking his temperature, that is. Everyone tells him to “drink fluids and get some rest,” even though their constant reminders keep him from dozing off.
He’s able to deliver his monthly client webinar from his living room, but his presentation is unlikely to calm anyone with market jitters. Read on to learn how Stinky is finally able to get some needed rest.
Special bonus story: “Stinky Panties”
While it takes place years later, this short, short story also deals with interoffice drama at Carter Associates. One of Stinky’s associates makes a stink when she loses her undies in the restroom. There are no usual channels for this type of grievance and she goes right to the top –- to Stinky’s dismay.
“Stinky’s September Song”
Stinky is old in this story and has a lot to remember. After an afternoon of soul searching he decides to stop mourning his losses and move on with his life. His grandmother was still smuggling when she was his age and he really should do more to honor her memory. A new generation is on the way and he wants to set a good example for them.