Stinky as Ever: A Fragrant Bouquet of Stinky Stories, Vol. 5

Forever Stinky

Stinky as Ever, Vol. 5, an Amazon Bestseller

After all the family drama in Vol 4, Stinky faces an assortment of difficult characters in Vol. 5.

The collection begins with two stories that take place before the boys meet.  “The Stinky Fustilarian” concerns an odd assignment for Stinky and another junior lawyer in his white shoe law firm.  It’s about workflow, not legal matters, and armed with questionnaires they found on the Internet, the intrepid pair pretend they know that they’re doing — if they could only notice that the elusive solution is sitting on the desk in front of them.

“Eddie’s Childhood Sweetheart” has Eddie serving as part of the security detail when his childhood neighbor returns to town as a pop star.  The blogosphere wonders if Eddie is the love of her life — the two of them have gone through puberty since they last met and anything is possible.  How tempted is Eddie to spend his life twenty feet from stardom?

Angie’s uncommonly good looking friend asks Stinky for help, believing he’s the only person in the world that understands what she goes through.  She has her eyes on a rich neighbor’s son, and Stinky has to convince the father that it’s not bad to have a gold-digging daughter-in-law when she knows how to find nuggets.  The nabob isn’t impressed with Stinky’s Mount of Venus and our boy has to go back to the office and think of a Plan B.

Stinky and Eddie come to the aid of an elderly couple in their building and save yet another of director Hamlin Storrs’s troubled productions in “Stinky and Eddie’s Costume Drama.”

Stinky has to evaluate a potential heir for a cranky old man without the heir knowing he’s being evaluated.  Stinky convinces the young man to spend a night in a haunted house and is surprised when his client beats him with his cane instead of complimenting him on his brilliance.  Will his mad scheme turn out better than anyone expects?  Eddie’s fans will be disappointed to learn he really doesn’t know much about bats.

Eddie does know art and the local museum taps him as guest curator to fill a hole in the exhibition schedule.  Stinky is suspicious of a snooty curator’s motives, and Alicia doesn’t help things when she talks to a venomous gossip columnist about the upcoming show.  Will Apollo’s marble ass and a buxom Maillol nude save the day, even when Stinky lends curatorial assistance?

Eddie isn’t pleased to give up his man cave when Stinky agrees to put up a member of a visiting female quintet.  Their music has an agenda:  they play “daughteratas” instead of sonatas and the boys and their boisterous house guest don’t hit it off.

The last tale takes Stinky out of the comfort of his office as he tries to broker peace between warring historical societies.  Back at Carter Associates he doesn’t face unwelcome advances or sneezing iguanas and he learns more about boat anchors and milk evaporators than he wants to.

As always, the story ends happily: Eddie gets some really tasty cookies.

After all this drama, Stinky’s ready to tackle his family in Vol. 6.

Stinky as Ever, Volume 5 is an Amazon bestseller and includes eight Amazon bestsellers, plus a bonus story and special features.

The best looking man on the planet tackles a big, fat slob.

Cover art, “The Stinky Fustilarian”

“The Stinky Fustilarian”

Stinky is always fresh, but in this tale he’s a fresh young lawyer with an odd assignment.  He and a colleague are tasked with unclogging a mysterious backlog in a dark corner of a state bureaucracy.  Stinky isn’t sure what to do when a staffer hands him some disturbing, but unrelated information.  There are no happy endings for fustilarians in a Stinky Story, and if you are worried that you might be one, read on to see if you’re safe.

Cover art, "Eddie's Childhood Sweetheart."

Eddie has a past.

“Eddie’s Childhood Sweetheart”

Eddie’s dull routine is disrupted when a pop star and former neighbor comes to town for a benefit concert.  The blogosphere has them practically engaged, and Eddie gets a taste of the glamorous life when he joins her entourage for a few days.  He has gone through puberty since the last time he saw her –- what’s holding him back?

This is the only Stinky Story without Stinky.  It takes place shortly before they meet and opens a window into Eddie’s bachelor life.  We’ve heard many times that he was conflicted and confused; now we can see for ourselves.

Cover art, "Stinky and the WMD Bombshell" by Wayon Bacon; design by vikncharlie

“The only one who understands her.”

“Stinky and the WMD Bombshell”

Angie’s gorgeous college chum feels that Stinky is the only person good looking enough to understand her, and asks him to speak to a prospective father-in-law on her behalf.

Stinky’s intervention sets the bristly plutocrat even more firmly against the marriage.  Stinky can’t spin his conversation into a success until Eddie makes an astute observation that leads to a plethora of happy endings.

Cover art, "Stinky and Eddie's Costume Drama" art by Waylon Bacon; design by vikncharlie.

Opening night jitters.

“Stinky and Eddie’s Costume Drama”

The celebrated prima donna Carlotta di Cliesdale is making her debut in a straight play.  Carlotta is as famous for her forte temper as her celebrated pianissimos, but she can’t understand her character and Fireworks in Fresno looks like it’s going to be a dud.

Even Stinky is stumped until Eddie’s interest in an elderly couple saves the day. You see, Eddie has his own costume troubles.  Read on to find out why the trim on his Santa suit always needs repairs.

"Stinky the Reputation Restorer" cover art by Waylon Bacon; design by vikncharlie

Your cover gives you a reputation.

“Stinky the Reputation Restorer”

When an eccentric dealer threatens to welsh on providing antique photos for an exhibit, Stinky tries to talk him into honoring his commitment.  It turns into a tit for tat affair with ever larger tits and tats until Stinky decides to make the combatants act like adults.

Cover art, "Stinky Stands Up for a Stand Up"

Cover art.

“Stinky Stands Up for a Stand Up”

A cranky old coot realizes he’s not going to live forever and asks Stinky to assess a potential heir.  Stinky’s willing to do anything if it’s billable, but his plan to evaluate the young man without his knowing he’s being evaluated doesn’t seem to have a ghost of a chance of succeeding-–or does it?

"Eddie the Art Curator" cover art by Waylon Bacon; design by vikncharle

A curated tale.

“Eddie the Art Curator”

The cash-strapped museum has a hole in its exhibition schedule and Alicia Carter suggests they ask the guards to identify their favorite works.  They’re the ones who spend the most time staring at the collection; why not showcase the ones they can still stand to look at?

They tap Eddie, a former museum guard, to curate the show and he reluctantly agrees.  Eddie is always nervous when he’s out of his element, and a priggish curator doesn’t make it easy for him.  When Stinky invites himself to a working lunch, simmering resentments surface.

"Condensed Stinky is Still Stinky" cover art.

Can a short story be condensed?

“Condensed Stinky is Still Stinky”

A prosperous historical society wants to borrow a rare item from its poor, cross town cousin.  The executive directors don’t get along and Stinky is charged with bringing them together, even if it means trying to avoid unwanted advances and sneezing iguanas.

Stinky offers nonprofits a discount rate, but for this engagement, the nonprofit rate should be twice the regular fee.

When a clumsy bribe doesn’t work he has to get creative and along the way he stumbles onto the Holy Grail of genealogists— an interesting ancestor.