Just Plain Stinky, A Fragrant Bouquet of Stinky Stories, Volume 7, an Amazon Bestseller
Stinky has his hands full in the seventh volume of collected tales. As you can see, his work is piling up and when he isn’t acting as executor for a swamp Yankee who wanted his beneficiaries to imitate bird calls in order to receive their inheritances, he’s helping a confused heiress deal with her newly acquired wealth. What should he do when a new client wants him to speak at their annual meeting? He’s such a terrible speaker it takes the combined efforts of Lesser Deities from around the globe to talk him out of the idea.
When he drags himself away from those piles of paper, he might have to quell a turbulent family crisis. Perhaps he thinks his sister’s “soul mate” is more of a freeloader, and it’s tough to find the right way to let her know he’s seen better verse in restrooms than the sorry sonnets her Shakespeare cranks out. Will his cousin’s troubled musical, based on the complete works of Charles Dickens, make it to opening night? We’ll have to see. No one in the cast seems to understand the plot, there being so much of it.
Stinky’s burden is great, but Eddie shares the load willingly. He does his best to be a responsible foster parent when they become holiday weekend pet sitters; a weekend that suggests they are wise to refrain from getting their own animal companions. Eddie reluctantly dons an Easter bunny suit to help Stinky’s Easter egg hunt and his mismatched costume spreads terror, not candy eggs among the tykes. When Stinky’s rector asks for help in dealing with his porn star nephew, all Stinky can think of is to stuff some bills in the young man’s jock. Eddie digs deeper than his wallet and finds a way to put both uncle and nephew on the path to a rosy future.
Does Stinky see a rosy future for himself? Not a chance. The colorful cover is a misdirect. His adventures are as zany and hilarious as ever, but he still manages to find a happy ending every time. That’s the only constant in the Stinky Stories.
Just Plain Stinky, Volume 7 is available on Amazon Kindle. The collection and all the individually published stories in the volume are Amazon bestsellers.
“Stinky and the Arse Poetica”
When a poetic cab driver claims he fell in love with Angie on the way back from the airport, Stinky suspects impure motives. Eddie thinks his poems are even worse than Stinky’s dirty doggerel. Angie thinks Stinky is shallower than a saucer. The only sure thing is if Stinky voices his suspicions, he’ll be the bad guy. Watch our crafty hero as he leads his sister to the Pierian Spring without letting her see whose hand is on the pump.
“Stinky and the League of Lesser Deities”
“Your name is Stinky, I live in tombs; I feel I can talk to you.”
Stinky has dealt with some odd customers, but the God of Intestines is one of the oddest.
The best looking man on the planet is also the worst public speaker, and he finds himself addressing the League of Lesser Deities. This international assemblage includes gods and goddesses who weren’t quite household names even when Lava Soap was on sale in Pompeii. He manages to avoid the God of Smallpox and wisely refuses to shake hands with the Spit God, but most importantly, he learns a valuable lesson for the everyday world.
“Stinky Rubs Elbows with a Star”
Stinky can’t figure out why his rector wants to go to lunch at a low bar. When Stinky points to a literary tattoo on a dancer’s rear end, the dancer turns out to be the rector’s nephew, a steamy porn star. Stinky still doesn’t know which end is up, and Fr. Tyler seems to have lost his ability to communicate.
Fr. Tyler usually ends up with more trouble when he asks Stinky for help, but thanks to Eddie’s detective skills, Stinky inspires him to rise to his calling.
Are you curious about a tattoo inspired by a famous first edition? Read on.
“Stinky and ye Swamp Yankee”
Stinky is the executor for the estate of a cranky Yankee who left a large bequest to support musical performances. Every prominent person in the city wants to be on the council to steer funding to their favorite organizations, and Stinky is overwhelmed by their campaigning.
Eddie prefers music by artists popular enough to attract a paying audience and isn’t much interested, but he makes a casual remark that inspires Stinky to restore a New Year’s Eve event that lapsed years earlier because of funding.
Boy Scouts will learn many colorful birdcalls heard in swamps and may earn a badge after reading this tale, while adults will learn how Stinky plays one interest group against another to earn a different kind of badge: Eddie’s esteem.
Stinky Lays an Easter Egg”
Thanks to Uncle Stinky’s energetic coaching, Gradey’s Sunday school play is a disaster. It’s so bad, St. John pleads with his publisher to delete a chapter from his popular gospel.
For punishment Stinky and his sister are assigned to the Easter Egg Hunt Committee to plan the parish’s annual exercise in teaching youngsters valuable lessons about greed and competitiveness. The siblings fail to communicate an important bit of information and leave with egg on their faces—and everywhere else.
On Monday the Easter Bunny files paperwork to become a groundhog. He wants to return to his den, sleep for six weeks and awaken with no memories.
Do you detect a bit of hyperbole? Read on.
“Charles Dickens Complete and Stinky”
When the male lead in The Complete Works of Charles Dickens: The Musical! suffers a breakdown, Stinky’s talented cousin joins the troubled production. He struggles to catch up with the rest of the cast while avoiding the lures of the ridiculously talented, ridiculously oversexed second female lead. Poor Dickens is spinning in his grave, but that’s in England and nobody cares about public domain authors except the backers, who wonder if they’ll ever see the curtain go up on opening night.
The cousins are staying with Stinky and Eddie, but they’re so overwhelmed that most of what our boys know about the show comes from the venomous pen of Miss Muffet’s Spider. He wouldn’t be much of a gossip columnist if people sat on his tuffet and said only nice things.
“In Stinky We Trust”
Stinky’s new client came into an inheritance so large, she can’t begin to grasp her changed circumstances. She wasn’t pleased with the big investment firms, so Stinky acts small. She finds his blue eyes trustworthy, but a blue Michael Kors outfit is what inspires her. He helps her hone her charitable instincts as she changes her look from Petrie dish to fashion plate.
Angela is on hand to lend him a tie that at least matches his suit. He’s more of a catalyst than example when it comes to fashion.